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-BEING LONELY OR BEING ALONE-
There's a difference between being lonely and being alone. Loneliness is the result of having come out of a long-term exclusive relationship and finding yourself feeling overwhelmed by a sense of alienation. No longer able to enjoy the friendship, companionship, and the intimacy of being with someone on a regular basis, you feel like a mathematical anomoly; divided by two when alone and multiplied by three when at a social function. Nothing feels right. From the first waking moment of the day to that moment when sleep takes over, being alone in a bed is not as comfortable as it would seem to be. Aloneness is something else. There comes a time when, having passed through the in-between time of being lonely, you adjust. Some of the positive factors concerning singlehood have been realized. Life begins to pick up again. Eventually, you begin to get out again. As you get to meet other single people, natural selection begins to exert itself and dating becomes a part of your life again. As you get to know where other singles your age spend their time socializing or take advantage of some of the better Internet singles search sites, you find yourself wondering when you are going to have a weekend night off just to have some alone time to yourself. No longer lonely, you have come to terms with being alone. Of course, the idea here is that the hope of finding someone special should not be extinguished just because you now enjoy your newfound freedom and independency. On the contrary, this is a time to grow and stretch--to rediscover yourself and to perhaps even to reinvent yourself. For those who are determined to eventually find someone with whom they can share a deeply fulfilling and loving relationship again (or maybe for the first time), this in-between time can be the best time of all. While working on getting rid of your old baggage, you will now have time to really decide what you want out of life and what you can offer to another person. Having journeyed through loneliness, you have found a comfort level in being alone. You're going to be okay. In fact, you can even be happy. Perhaps you will find love again. It might find you. You are not driven to need it as you were when overwhelmed by loneliness. You're in control of yourself now and, as a result, are finally ready to truly fall in love again.
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